Get Your Kid
by College n Curls
Summary: What did you do in school today?
1. Chapter 1

**CCNote** **: Currently working on the outline for A is for Uchiha. In the meantime here is a revamping of a story I never got to finish. Its crack so don't take it seriously. Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review.**

 **Convergence**

 _Prologue..._

Tsunade tapped her foot impatiently under her desk as she waited for the parents to trickle into her office. Somehow, just like their demon offspring, all of the parents had managed to get on her last nerve. From some of them losing the state of the art recording devices to others complaining that the meeting time was much too inconvenient, Tsunade was at her wit's end and the day hadn't even fully begun.

With a roll of her eyes, she closed Hinata Hyuuga's disciplinary file and opened Naruto Uzumaki's. The folder was bursting at the seams with a number of infractions and staff complaints the teen had accrued during his tenure at the school. The boy was mostly harmless and if she were being honest, sometimes she even enjoyed some of his smaller pranks against teachers she didn't like. However, Naruto in conjunction with the rest of his cohorts were driving her up the wall. She was going to lose a large amount of her staff if they kept this up. Sighing, Tsunade opened the bottom drawer of her desk and gaze longingly at the bottle of single malt whiskey nestled between her folders. Maybe just a sip wouldn't hurt. Just a little something to take the edge off...

Just as she reached down into the drawer to retrieve her precious salvation, her assistant Shizune cracked open the door to her office and stuck her head in. Dark disapproving eyes narrowed and Tsunade gulped knowing that she'd been caught red-handed. Pouting, she put the bottle back into its dark lonely home in her desk and closed the drawer.

'Later' she thought wistfully.

"Lady Tsunade, the parents are starting to arrive," Shizune said, satisfied that her boss wasn't going to start drinking so early in the morning...again.

The blonde woman rose from her leather seat and walked towards the window in her office that overlooked the main entrance of the school. Konoha Highschool was one of, if not _the,_ best school that the land of fire had to offer. Her great-grandfather had founded this school on three simple principles. To promote unity among the students and their community. To educate the future of their country. To ensure that students from all backgrounds would have the tools they needed to succeed later on in their life. Unfortunately, the only principle this batch of children seemed to have was a parasitic sense of was unity. They were united in destroying school property. United in interrupting class with their insubordinate and obnoxious behavior. _Most of all_ Tsunade was convinced that they were united in making sure that she would be put into an early grave. Longingly she glanced back at her desk where her only solstice resided. Hopefully, by the end of this rather unethical meeting, her life here as dean of this school would get a little easier.

Letters sent home never helped because she doubted that the letters ever made it into the hands of the parents. Suspensions from school also had no effect since a break from being in school was what the hoodlums actually wanted. Parent-teacher meeting also had no effect since the parents were often so intimidating to the teachers that no one had the guts to actually say what was going on with their little 'angels'. The only thing that was going to get through to the students, and quite possibly Tsunade's only saving grace, was their parents seeing their antics in action. If they actually saw how awful their kids were maybe then she might actually be able to catch up on her mountains of paperwork versus chasing students down the hall. This was literally a last-ditch effort.

"Knock knock!" An overly perky voice called from the open office door. A blonde woman opened the door all the way to reveal a pink haired and an equally energetic man standing behind her. Tsunade raised an eyebrow at their smiling faces, utterly confused as to who the hell these people were.

"The Harunos." Shizune said through a conspicuous cough and Tsunade internally smacked her forehead for her own forgetfulness.

"Welcome welcome!" Tsunade said as happily as she could to make up for her mistake. The Harunos didn't seem to catch on, if anything they were eager to be there even though it was so early in the morning. "I'm glad you are able to join us this morning!"

"We wouldn't miss seeing our baby girl for the world!" Mr. Haruno laughed and Tsunade's smile faltered a bit.

Sure she'd lied and said that this was an experimental meeting on adolescent development and behavior. Sure she'd stretched the truth by saying their children were all perfect candidates for this new form of parental oversight for their children's educational progress. The ends justified the means right? Right.

"Good morning Lady Tsunade!" Another happy voice said as they entered the room.

Kushina and Minato Uzumaki were both grinning from ear to ear, eager to partake in Tsunade's experiment. They were both former graduates of Konoha High and Tsunade longed for the rumored days that peace was within the halls of the school. Although it was said that Kushina had been a bit of a troublemaker herself back then she was likely nothing compared to her son Naruto. Tsunade's left eye twitched as Naruto's boisterous laughter entered her mind and echoes of 'old lady' rang through her ears.

"This place hasn't changed a bit!" Minato observed as he looked around the office appreciatively. "The entire school looks just like it did when we went here!"

"Well, we strive to stay true to our original architecture while keeping up to date on our resources for the students." Tsunade replied proudly. "Please have a seat in the conference room."

Shizune led the new arrivals into the conference room adjoining her office while Tsunade remained to greet the rest of the parents. The Uchihas were the next to arrive although Fugaku wasn't exactly mentally present even though his body was there. He was too busy on his phone to mumble more than a half-hearted hello and allowed Tsunade's hand to go awkwardly unshaken. Mikoto apologized for his behavior but did nothing to correct his rudeness. Hiashi Hyuuga arrived just after that awkward exchange and Tsunade didn't even dare to touch him. He looked at her like she was gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe, even his greeting sounded like a threat.

The Yamanakas, Akamichis, Inuzukas all trickled in as well and made their way to the conference room without much incident. Shikamaru's father was the last to arrive and appeared as though he'd just rolled out of bed. With all of the parents now having arrived, Tsunade took a deep breath and marched into what could only be described as a lion's pit. All around the long conference room table the parents, well those who were friendly enough, chatted cordially with one another and were excited to participate. None appeared suspicious in the slightest. Clearing her throat, the room became silent and all eyes were now on her.

"Welcome to Konoha High." She said and bowed respectfully to all of the parents in attendance. "This is one of the best schools that the land of fire has to offer and we pride ourselves on upholding that prestigious title."

The parents nodded along with what she was saying, a few of them even straightening up a bit with pride. It was an honor to be accepted into this institution and a diploma from here gave all of their children a leg up for when the time came to apply to University. If only the students realized the value of their education.

"As you all know I have called you here about your children. Now I know you believe that each one is an angel, and they're all precious. But there are some behaviors that I don't condone nor know how to punish. As their parents, you have full jurisdiction over that matter. Video cameras have been placed all around the school so you can see what exactly goes on during their day." Tsunade informed the parents who all now didn't look so nice.

"Punishment?" Tsume Inuzuka growled. "This was not what I expected to be called in here for."

"Have any of you told your children you'd be here?" Tsunade asked, brushing aside the Inuzuka's protest. All of the parents shook their heads. "Good. Also, have you planted the uniforms that will give us sound on them?"

The parents nodded but of course, none of them were pleased. Tsunade couldn't blame them. This was not what they signed up for but it had to be done. Shizune pressed a button on the side of the wall and a large projector screen was lowered from the ceiling. A few seconds later an image of the school's main entrance appeared.

"Oooh! This is kind of exciting!" Mrs. Haruno squealed as the students started pouring into the school and none of the other parents shared her sentiment.

It didn't take long for a few of their targets to appear on the screen and the camera brought into focus an energetic Naruto Uzumaki strolling into the school gates with a groggy Sasuke Uchiha in tow. Tsunade's brow furrowed with suspicion as she watched the two approach the school...those two were never _ever_ on time...

 **To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**CCNote: Thanks for the support ya'll! The next three days are testing days. I'm going to try to work on this short story as much as possible. Please enjoy and leave a review!**

 **In the Closet**

"So Sasuke why didn't you answer your phone last night?" Naruto asked curiously, although it was clear that he already knew the answer.

Inside of the office the parents, minus Minato and Kushina, cringed at how loud he was so early in the morning. Frantically Shizune turned down to volume to save all of their eardrums. On-screen Sasuke's eyes narrowed at his friend as he pulled his red uniform tie out of his pocket. Carelessly he tied the garment around his neck but it still hung loosely.

"Hn. I was busy." The Uchiha mumbled, barely audible to the people in the office who were watching but Naruto heard it loud and clear. Shizune did her best to turn up the volume so that they could hear his response better but she wasn't fast enough.

"Busy doing what? Having phone sex! That's not called being busy." Naruto yelled to the misery of those watching over him. Finally giving up on the volume, Shizune hung her head in shame. Meanwhile, Sasuke slapped Naruto in the back of his head.

"Shut it." the Uchiha hissed, clearly embarrassed.

"You guys should just come out of that closet already. Everyone at school knows you like each other." Naruto pouted.

"Fuck you dobe." Sasuke growled and Naruto laughed, he loved provoking the raven.

"Sorry I don't swing that way!" Naruto giggled and then ran off with Sasuke close on his tail.

"We should really work on his language." Mikoto mused as she watched her son run after his energetic friend.

Fugaku, on the other hand, couldn't care less about what Sasuke said. He was more focused on what he _did_. Specifically the revelation that his youngest son was gay. That little fact had been enough to pull him off of his email and watch in horror as his son actually blushed from the blonde's insinuation. Outwardly he looked calm but on the inside, he was freaking out. When Itachi had come out to the family they'd all taken it in stride. They still had Sasuke to carry on the family name after all. He could reasonably take one son being gay but both of them? How was the family name to be passed on? Who was going to inherit the business now?

As Fugaku contemplated on how to spread his loins this late in life, Hiashi smugly looked on at the camera as it followed his daughter into her classroom. His sweet, innocent Hinata would never be caught up in debaucherous behavior like the Uchiha boy. She was studious and well-behaved as was expected of a Hyuuga so he had no idea why she was roped into this 'punishment' meeting. Neji was also at the top of his class when he was attending this school and he'd never had an ounce of trouble out of his nephew. Quite frankly it was a waste of his precious time to be gathered around such common people but at least he was getting a kick out of the Uchiha's dilemma. Maybe he could use this to one-up the proud Fugaku and finally knock him off that pedestal he's so fond of. With a self-satisfied smirk, he turned his attention back to the screen.

Screams were heard as Naruto was rambunctiously running through the halls to avoid what he thought was an angry Uchiha hot on his trail. In reality, Sasuke had given up chasing him long ago and now the blonde was running from a ghost. In the process of him causing chaos among the bustling masses of students navigating the halls, he bumped into Sakura Haruno who was wearing her dark blue school uniform skirt woefully out of dress code and carrying an armload of books.

"NARUTO!" the pink haired girl screamed as all of her books clattered noisily to the floor.

"Sa-Sakura." Naruto smiled nervously as he scratched the back of his head. A light blush rose to the boy's cheeks as his eyes unabashedly checked out Sakura's full display of her legs. "Hey you look nice today... you wanna go out after school?"

"No, you jerk!" Sakura growled. "Pick up my books now! How is Sasuke supposed to think I'm smart with all my books on the ground?"

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke." Naruto grumbled as he picked up the books from the floor. "I think you're smart even if your books are on the ground. Whats so special about that stick in the mud anyway?"

Sakura took her books back from Naruto and clutched them close to her chest as she wistfully listed off all of what she perceived to be the Uchiha's best qualities.

"He's smart and athletic and handsome-"

"I'm all those things too ya know." Naruto protested as he followed the girl down the hall.

"You're failing chemistry _and_ trig." She replied but the blonde was unfazed.

"I've got a C in history!"

Back inside of the office Kushina was being held back by her husband as she furiously tried to wrench open the office door. The Uzumaki woman was outraged at how poor her son's grades were. Sure she'd failed nearly every subject except for gym but Naruto was supposed to be better than that. Half of his genes were from Minato and the man was a near genius. No. Naruto was slacking off and she knew the perfect way to deal with lazy bums.

"C'mon Kushina!" Minato pleaded. "I'm sure they're just joking.

"Jokes my ass!" She hissed back. "I'm going to beat his scrawny ass for every class he's failing."

"Actually." Tsunade interrupted as she slid a record of Naruto's grades over to his irate mother. "His grades are subpar in everything except gym."

Kushina went pale as she looked at the paper on the table in front of her. This was all her fault. Naruto had inherited her misfortune when it came to school. Slowly she lowered herself back into her chair and laid her head on the table, her long red hair covering her face in shame. Minato patted her on the back comfortingly. Grades weren't everything. His son was smart in...other ways.

The main screen in the office changed from the hallway to the classroom where all of their children were gathered for their literature class. Naruto tried to take a seat next to Sakura but Ino swiftly laid claim to it. Instead, the blonde found himself taking the seat beside Shikamaru who as sitting in the back with his head on his desk while Sasuke and Kiba were just coming through the door by the skin of their teeth when the bell rang. Hinata was pouring over a book as Rock Lee and Sai conversed beside her. Their English teacher Jiraiya entered the classroom as the last tones of the bell rang. Automatically, all of the students stood at attention except for Hinata who was too into her book to pay attention to anything.

"Miss Hyuuga." Jiraiya said and the girl in question squeaked and leapt out of her seat to stand like her classmates, her face a brilliant shade of red. "Since you see you were the only one not to stand with the rest of the class, you will open our debate today. If you speak as well as you write I'm sure you'll give us a good show!"

Hinata nodded her head solemnly and closed the book that had previously engrossed her attention. As she walked on shaky legs up to the front of the classroom, Sasuke reached across the aisle and snatched her book off of her desk.

"And since Mr. Uchiha thinks it's okay to steal the property of others, he will be your opponent." Jiraiya announced, unfazed by the boy's death glare.

Reluctantly Sasuke made his way up to the front of the classroom with his hands shoved into his pockets. There was at least a meter of space between the two contestants which only further amplified the differences between them. Whereas Hinata was fidgeting with her fingers, Sasuke appeared bored out of his mind. While Sasuke's dark eyes drilled holes into the side of his partner's skull, she looked everywhere but at him.

"Your topic is Romeo and Juliet. Go." Jiraiya directed.

Inside of the office, Fugaku looked like a cat who'd swallowed a canary. Even though his son could possibly be gay he knew that he would chew the Hyuuga heiress up and spit her out. The girl was too meek for her own good. At all of the functions he'd seen her at, Hinata Hyuuga preferred making herself as unnoticeable as possible. She was an easy opponent for Sasuke to go up against. The Uchiha head glanced over at Hisashi and smirked, he was now going to see his weak daughter in action. Leaning back in his chair, Fugaku now watched the scene in the classroom with renewed vigor.

The two awkward teens stood there in silence for what felt like forever. A visible blush was creeping up Hinata's cheeks and there were a few 'get-on-with-it' coughs from the others in the class. It was quickly becoming obvious that Sasuke wasn't going to say anything first so Hinata nervously pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and began.

"Um...I, I b-Believe that th-th-the story is not of lovers but of a...a infatuation. Juliet is o-only thirteen and no th-thirteen year old could possibly find love or...or anything similar at such a y-young age. Ro-Romeo on the other h-hand is a fickle man who has no clue what he, he, he wants. He only j-just met Juliet once and all of a sudden falls in love with her." Hinata stammered and Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her.

"Is that your opening argument?" Sasuke questioned condescendingly. "Very well then. Do you not believe in love at first sight? I mean with all the books you read don't you believe in such a 'passionate' love?"

"No I don't, love takes work. It doesn't happen overnight and it isn't easy. Plus it wasn't his heart Romeo was following but another organ that all men follow." Hinata snipped, losing her stutter as well and the class collectively groaned.

Naruto was now building a fort with his textbooks to hide behind while Sakura looked like she was on the verge of tears. Chouji was too busy chopping on illegal paraphernalia in his bag to start hiding underneath his desk the way some of his fellow classmates were.

The parents in the office all had confused looks on their faces as they watched the trepidatious reaction of the students to the debate. Why would they groan when the debate was just getting good? Why would they start hiding behind things when they should be paying close attention? While the other parents were pondering these reactions, Hiashi was sitting up a little straighter in his chair. This was the first time he'd heard his daughter string more than two words together without stuttering. Needless to say, he was shocked. Proud but still shocked.

"What about Juliette? Running after Romeo to get married like a conniving harpy. She only wanted to marry Romeo to get out of her engagement to Paris. She didn't love him, instead, she was taking advantage of him." Sasuke countered. "She was unwilling to follow her parents' wishes and was already looking for a reason to defy them. Romeo was a mere accessory."

"Taking advantage of him?" Hinata questioned. "Juliette is thirteen and he's seventeen, who do you think is taking more? Romeo is just a pompous prick looking for the rebound after he got rejected from Rosaline."

"Here we go again." Naruto groaned, sinking further into his chair. Kiba who nodded his shaggy head in agreement to the blonde's statement as he held his suspiciously moving bookbag close to his chest.

"You think I'm pompous Hyugaa?" Sasuke asked with his arms crossed staring her down.

"The world doesn't revolve around you but if the shoe fits!" Hinata said threateningly as she took a step closer to him. "I'm sure you identify closely with a player like Romeo."

"Tch. I'm sure you and Juliette would be great friends since you both like to automatically jump to conclusions."

"I heard-"

"I told you it was a misunderstanding!"

"Take this outside." Jiraiya sighed as he rubbed the side of his face in frustration.

Hinata turned on her heel and marched out of the classroom, her dark hair whipping angrily behind her. Sasuke followed out haughtily behind her with his hands shoved into his pockets. Shizune pressed a button for another screen to come down from the ceiling and their images of the two exiled students appeared as soon as the door to the classroom closed. The teens merely stared at each other defiantly, neither one of them willing to back down from the debate that wasn't really a debate.

"I know I heard a woman's voice when you answered your phone." Hinata said, her voice tight. "Karin was bragging yesterday about going over to your house too."

"She did come over but only to bring the worksheets Orochimaru handed out."Sasuke growled and glared at the classroom's closed door. "I shouldn't have listened to Naruto. He's the reason I missed that class."

Hinata was unconvinced but her posture had slackened to be a bit less defensive.

"She likes you." She said and Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"When have you known me to care what Karin likes?"

"Sasuke-" Hinata started to say but was quickly cut off by Sasuke closing the distance between them and slamming her up against the lockers.

The force of which caused the girl to gasp and her father to immediately jump out of his seat. Hiashi was fully prepared to jump over the table to get to his daughter but was stopped when her gasp quickly turned into a moan. He watched in abject horror as her legs wrapped around the Uchiha's waist and her fingers tangled themselves in his hair. His lips immediately captured hers and the office was filled with the sounds of them kissing and the recording devices planted inside of their clothing rubbing together.

"W-wait!" Hinata squeaked as his lips left hers to plant kisses down her neck. "Someone will see us!"

"Everyone is in class." Sasuke countered although his voice was slightly muffled.

"Sasuke!" She said sternly and he finally stopped kissing her.

"Fine." He sighed and stepped away from her so that she could stand on her own.

Nervously she fidgeted with her fingers as a pink blush crept up her cheeks.

"I didn't say stop." She said in a small voice.

Sasuke's eyes widened but as a teenage boy, he certainly wasn't going to question her. Faster than anyone thought possible, he grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hallway where they then disappeared into what appeared to be a storage closet.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. The janitor was likely going to complain to her about their activities...again. Luckily there were no cameras inside of the storage closet but they were all subjected to sounds of teenage hormones until their mics went silent. There was only _one_ reason why that would happen. This situation was nothing new to the dean. Hinata Hyuuga and Sasuke Uchiha had a weird love-hate 'thing' going on ever since their volcano project over a year ago. It had started off innocent enough, in fact, she'd even thought of the relationship as cute. However, as she watched Hiashi slowly rise from his chair with the look of murder in his eyes she knew that he found nothing _cute_ this development.

 **To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**CCNote:** **Happy Friday! The outline for A is for Uchiha is almost complete. Still gotta figure out letters W and Y. After that, I'm going to let the outline sit and get back to it around Christmas break if I don't return to America to see my family. If I do go home, I'll begin writing during Spring vacation instead. In between that time, I'll likely revamp/finish some of my old stuff if you guys are interested in it.**

 **Anywho, remember this is crack. Have fun! Don't forget to leave a review!**

 **Bad Influences**

"Do you think anyone heard us?" Hinata said as she poked her head out of the storage room closet to ensure that no one was coming down the hall. Sasuke reached over her head and pushed the door open.

"If you weren't so loud we wouldn't have to worry about that Hyuuga." The Uchiha smirked as he walked into the hallway.

He looked back at Hinata who was clearly dissatisfied with his statement. That only made the smirk on his face spread into a true smile. He took a step back towards the closet, bending slightly at the waist so that he was eye level with the Hyuuga.

"If you keep looking like that I'll never let you out of here." He said in a low voice and pressed what was meant to be a quick kiss against her pouting lips.

The kiss lasted for much longer than either of the two had anticipated and would have likely lasted for longer if they hadn't been interrupted. The bell ringing alerted the teens that they would soon have company and was likely the only reason why they broke apart. Soon the hallway filled with students spilling out of their classrooms and the dual screens in Tsunade's office went dark.

Inside of the office, Fugaku was repeatedly slapping his hand on the conference room table and laughing, no _cackling_ , at the way the situation had played out. He was less than pleased that his son was with a Hyuuga. In fact, he would prefer Sasuke was gay than to be with a snobby Hyuuga girl but the look on Hiashi's face was absolutely _priceless_. He couldn't help but take amusement at his rival's misery.

"How could you let something atrocious like this happen!" Hisashi demanded furiously and Tsunade just rolled her eyes. "She shouldn't be allowed anywhere near that- that- trash!"

'I shouldn't be anywhere near sober right now.' She grumbled mentally.

"Other kids do stuff like that all the time in this school, just because they're your children doesn't mean I shouldn't let them be together. The only problems I have with them are their arguments, which always manage to damage school property and disrupt the classroom." Tsunade explained but her logical reasons didn't pacify the Hyuuga and Uchiha. "They keep getting themselves kicked out of class, mostly on purpose mind you. It's going to start impacting their grades-"

"This is absolutely ridiculous! I'm going down to that classroom this instant and taking my daughter out of this godforsaken school!" Hisashi roared as he made his way towards the door.

"Afraid that my boy will find someone better than your precious heiress? Your little mouse is certainly not my first choice for my son. By all means, feel free to unenroll her." Fugaku yawned and Hisashi glared at him like he wanted nothing more than to slit the man's pale throat. He had spawned the demon who dared to defile his daughter.

"No. I'm just making sure my daughter doesn't catch anything from that gay playboy of a son you have." Hiashi sneered lighting a fire to the Uchiha's notoriously short fuse.

As expected, Fugaku jumped out of his seat immediately and lunged for Hiashi across the table only to be held back by a laughing Minato. The blonde found this entire situation hilarious of course, like father like son.

"No one's going to leave this room! No one is unenrolling!" Tsunade snapped and with an authoritative glare so deadly both men cowered back into their seats. "Now pay attention dammit."

The 'adults' reluctantly turned their attention back to the television to see their children back in class although this time they were in a new classroom filled with maps of the world. Hiashi grimaced as he watched Sasuke impede Hinata from sitting next to Kiba. He didn't like the boy being anywhere near his daughter, especially not after what he'd just heard. Kiba was unfazed by the Uchiha's jealous nature and instead pulled out a small ball of fur from his bag that had been making it shake earlier. A little cream colored puppy barked happily now that it had been released and licked the Inuzuka's face emphatically. Instantly many of the girls in the class surrounded Kiba and the puppy, pressing against him so that they could get a better look at the bundle of cuteness in his arms.

"Oh! He's getting so big!" A busty brunette cooed as she pressed up against Kiba's arm.

The teen looked as though he was in heaven as he stroked the top of the puppy's head. Everyone knew that the best way to get girls was through babies and animals. Combining those two things only made it that much easier! Baby animals were every woman's kryptonite.

"Careful now!" Kiba grinned at the fawning girl by his side. "Akamaru's a heartbreaker."

Back in the office, Tsume looked as though she were about to have a heart attack. Before the woman tried to escape the office like the other parents, Tsunade motioned for Shizune to hand the poor woman Kiba's file. Inside was documentation of all the animals Kiba had smuggled into the school. While the boy had a penchant for bringing in dogs, he'd brought everything from snakes to parrots to school inside of his bag. Once, he'd even smuggled in a baby goat. Sometimes he was able to keep a handle on the animals. Most of the time he couldn't and those times had led to a school-wide hunt to get the animals back into his possession.

'This...' Tsunade thought miserably.

"Hey! Asuma's coming!" A student warned from the doorway.

'Was one of those times.'

Students immediately dispersed away from Kiba and in the process, he lost his hold on the squirming puppy. The tiny animal named 'Akamaru' jumped from his master's arms just as Asuma walked into the classroom. Akamaru disappeared quickly to find shelter between the legs and bags of the other students. Panicked, Kiba began to look for him.

"Sit down Inuzuka." Asuma said dryly.

"But-"

"Class has begun. Sit down."

Kiba bit the inside of his cheek to keep from talking back and took the empty seat next to Shikamaru who was sleeping once again. Asuma slammed his hand on the table in front of the sleeping teen who merely opened his lazy eyes, unbothered by the loud noise. For a solid minute, the two stared at each other unblinkingly until Shikamaru finally gave in and sat upright in his chair.

"Troublesome." He mumbled under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest.

Asuma moved on down the aisle to where Naruto was sitting with his hands behind his head and leaning back precariously in his chair. The older man glared and righted the chair much to the blonde's displeasure. He then snatched Ino's phone from her lap and confiscated Choji's bookbag full of snacks. He continued removing all classroom infractions until finally all of the students were at least pretending to be ready to learn.

In the office Tsunade shook her head, it shouldn't take _this_ much effort to get the students to act right. All they had to do was come in and put their asses in a chair. Even when Asuma began his lecture, half of the student didn't bother to open their textbooks. It wasn't long before Naruto got bored and started shooting spitballs at the back of Choji's head and Kiba kept ducking under his desk to wave dog treats around. Hinata was at least attempting to follow along with Asuma's lecture but the way she kept fidgeting in her chair showed the difficulty she was having. The source of her distress? Karin Uzumaki who kept trying to reach forward to run her fingers down Sasuke's back.

"Your son is disgusting." Hiashi spat as he seethed in his chair.

"Isn't that your niece?" Shikaku Nara asked Kushina dryly, cutting into the impending feud between the Uchiha and Hyuuga.

The two men were going to rip each other's throats out before the day was over. Shikaku's eyes slid away from the screen to observe the occupants of the room in an attempt to vainly to ignore his own twitching fingers. He'd been locked in _this_ room with _these_ people for only two class periods and already he was jonesing for a cigarette. He needed something to distract him before he lost his mind from their petty antics. Kushina tapped her index finger against her chin and narrowed her eyes in thought. She hadn't seen her niece in years, not since she bit Naruto on one of their playdates. That little red-headed menace would have gotten the snot kicked out of her if Minato hadn't intervened. She hadn't seen the girl since that day. Good riddance too. Now here she was sitting in her son's class and clearly more preoccupied with getting the Uchiha boy's attention than actually learning anything.

"Yea." Kushina finally sighed as Karin tugged on Sasuke's shirt. "That's her."

Sasuke scooted up in his chair to get a little bit more out of Karin's reach but he didn't have much room for escape. Hinata sat as straight as a rod as the redhead continued to have her way with him uninterrupted until the bell rang for class to end. As soon as it did, Sasuke stood right up out of his seat and grabbed his book bag as well as Hinata's.

"Sasuke." Karin purred, her words slightly muffled since it was Sasuke's mics that were picking up her voice. The girl boldly reached out to the Uchiha and began tugging on one of the belt loops on the back of his pants. "I think I missed a few things while Asuma was talking. Wanna compare notes?"

"No." Sasuke replied flatly. "Let's go Hyuuga."

Hinata didn't look at anyone as she closed her textbook, which she'd barely read anyway, and stood up from her chair to follow Sasuke's lead. Karin pouted as the two ravens departed quickly from the classroom. She crossed her arms over her chest as she ground her teeth together. Sakura also wore a similar expression as she watched the two leave but at least she had Ino to comfort her. The blonde laid a heavy hand on her friend's shoulder and flashed her a cheeky grin.

"Karin sure lays it on thick huh?" Ino said and Sakura shrugged her hand off her shoulder.

"I just don't get it." She pouted.

"Get what?"

"Why does he even like her? What does _she_ have that I don't?"

Ino looked her disappointed friend up and down before simply shrugging her shoulders.

"Well, for one thing, breasts."

Sakura gasped at Ino's insinuation and protectively covered her own less endowed chest with her arms.

"That's so gross Ino!" Sakura hissed.

"I forgot you don't have gym with us 'miss advanced organic chemistry' bleh."Ino teased and suggestively began groping the air with her perfectly manicured hands. "You've never seen her in the locker room but Hinata is tits city. Her ass is bigger than yours too. It's no wonder Sasuke can't keep his hands off of her."

"Did someone say ass?" Naruto grinned as he made his way over to where Ino and Sakura were sitting.

"Go away Naruto!" Sakura shouted as her face turned red from embarrassment. "Sasuke's not like that Ino! You're just a perv."

"I'm only calling it as I see it. Plus how would you know if Sasuke is a perv or not?"

"Sasuke's the biggest perv I know. Almost as bad as Sai." Naruto interjected, his smile becoming wider. "You haven't seen the stack of porn he has under his bed!"

Ino and Naruto both devolved into a fit of immature laughter and rude hand gestures at Sakura's expense. The pink haired girl stood up so fast that her chair fell backward with a loud bang onto the floor. She pushed past the laughing blondes and marched out of the now empty classroom. As the door to the room opened and shut, Akamaru used the opportunity to race between Sakura's legs and find his way to puppy freedom in the halls.

"Was it something we said?" Naruto blinked just as the bell rang for the next class to begin.

"Shit we're late!" Ino hissed and started scrambling to try to gather her things but Naruto stopped her.

"How much do you _really_ care about geography?" He said mischievously and wiggled his eyebrows.

Inside of the office, Kushina was praying that Naruto wasn't going to do what she thought he would. Yet her prayers went unanswered as he and Ino skipped off to god knows where but certainly not to class. A chill ran down her spine as she felt the eyes of Inoichi Yamanaka burning holes into her skull.

"Why are the students allowed to roam so freely through the halls?" Inoichi asked through clenched teeth.

"They aren't _allowed to roam free_." Tsunade said as calmly as she could. "We have sent multiple letters to all of your homes with records of their tardies and absences. Their detention forms all come back signed by you but I imagine none of you looked carefully enough to notice just what they were shoving under your noses. That's if the forms made it to you at all."

"Are you trying to say we're bad parents?" Kushina snapped while Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose.

'Yes...yes I am.' The blonde woman thought but kept her composure. She was still dean of the school so she had to act like it.

"Clearly if your son had been raised better through his life he wouldn't be failing all of his classes and he wouldn't be dragging Ino down with him." Inoichi growled and Kushina jumped up to her feet at his insinuation.

"He's not failing all of his classes!" She shouted defensively but the blonde man only rolled his eyes.

"Oh, I forgot. He's got a C in history."

"Well, I for one blame the poor influences that are allowed to attend this school." Hiashi sneered, not taking his eyes off of Fugaku. "Everyone knows that one bad apple spoils the bunch."

"Tch." Fugaku grunted. "My son is a much better catch than anything you could possibly arrange for your weak little daughter."

"Ha! My daughter could have a million suitors at our doorstep within twenty-four hours if she wanted to but she is much more respectable than that demon you call a son. He's nowhere near good enough for someone with her upbringing."

"All of you just shut up!" Mikoto shouted, looking as though she were on the verge of pulling her hair out. "You are all behaving worse than the children. You're at each other's throats and too worried about who to blame!"

"Yea." Shikaku said drolly as he twirled a pen between his agitated fingers. "You should be more worried about becoming grandparents."

Suddenly the office became filled with the sound of several sets of teenage giggles. Tsunade watched sympathetically as her assistant Shizune pressed her body against the door, steeling herself against the physical barrage of parents trying to claw their way out of the conference room.

 **To be continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

**CCNote** **: It's the most wonderful time of the year! Yep! Oct-Feb is the best time for me here! I'm usually super busy planning holiday lessons, making decorations, and creating lots of fun (and sometimes complicated) game ideas. Unfortunately, that means a lot of my creativity gets soaked up by endeavors that pay me and since fanfiction is free, this gets pushed back. However your reviews reminded me, bitch you got folks waiting. I don't have a beta but I did have two uninterrupted hours of free time today so here we go! Enjoy!**

 **Fights with Food**

Tsunade laced her fingers together and glared at the parents who were making this entire conference much harder than it had to be. None of them appeared remorseful in the slightest for their stubborn behavior. Fugaku and Hiashi refused to open their mouths unless it was to shoot insults at one another, or at her. Somehow they were both united when it came to questioning her authority as dean of the school. Kushina was ready to beat Inoichi to a pulp and it was only by the efforts of her husband that the man wasn't dead already.

"You all signed an agreement that you would stay in this room until the end of the experiment-"

"This is not what we signed up for." Inoichi snapped and Tsunade cut her eyes at him.

"Regardless, you signed an agreement. If you leave the room before the school day is over you will only further disrupt the day. The point of this is for you to see how your students behave and for us to correct the behavior."

"Well I've had enough watching and I know how to rectify this behavior. Kick their spawn out of this school or I'm unenrolling my daughter and my youngest will not attend next year." Hiashi spat, pointing his finger accusingly at the Uchihas.

"Like I've said, Sasuke is not leaving. You wanted to unenroll Hinata before. Go ahead and do it." Fugaku hissed back.

Tsunade slammed her hands on her desk, cowing the would-be dissenters into silence. These people were absolutely horrible. It was no wonder their kids sucked so much. The blonde dean opened her mouth to tell them off but the sound of the bell for lunch interrupted her potential tirade. A quick knock at the door quickly diverted their attention from screaming at one another. The door to the office opened just enough for two large plastic bags of to-go boxes to be passed on to Shizune who quickly shut the door as soon as they were firmly in her grasp. The smell that wafted off of the boxes made everyone's, even the most obstinate of the parents, perk up in their seats. Nervously, Shizune held the bag close to her chest, unsure of what to do just yet with everyone watching her like a hawk. Sensing a moment of opportunity, Tsunade cleared her throat.

"The students will be heading towards the cafeteria any minute now. Even if you were to march down the halls en masse and grab your kids, you want them to have a meal first right?" Tsunade said, her right eye twitching as she noticed drool dripping down Choza Akimichi's chin. "After all, your tuition money does pay for us to have the most nutritious meals prepared by some of the best chefs in training from the local university."

Stomachs began to growl all around the table as they watched Shizune's every move. All of this arguing and shock had worked up an appetite in all of them. Kushina rubbed her stomach, unconsciously licking her lips.

"I can't yell on an empty stomach." She mused and Tsume nodded her head in agreement.

"Certainly not."

Tsunade smiled as students began filing into the hallways just as she predicted and nodded her head for Shizune to begin passing out the boxes to all of the parents. Hiashi was the first to receive his lunch and he stared at the styrofoam container as though it were an affront to his very character. Hyuugas did not eat their meals off of such plebian materials. However, as the others began to open their boxes the savory smell was overpowering. His mouth began to water and his resistance cracked. _Only_ this once would he eat like an animal. He sniffed and popped open his box finally as the main screen in the office changed to the cafeteria.

The Konoha cafeteria was a large space with high ceilings that made the cavernous room even louder than what it should be. Circular tables were scattered throughout the crowded area and students clamored quickly to find a seat to eat with their friends. Most of their children had already found a table to sit at, minus a few notable exceptions. Ino and Naruto were still nowhere to be found, although their mics sounded like they were somewhere with lots of rushing water. Shikamaru and Choji were also missing which made the food in Tsunade's mouth turn into sawdust.

Choji wasn't too much of a problem outside of all the illegal contraband he brought to school. He constantly ate in class and had gotten into fights with brave, stupid souls who had attempted to get in on his snack action. The boy was largely harmless unless Shikamaru was around. Out of all the children, Shikamaru was the worst because he was smart. Any time a large scale incident occurred at the school, one could bet money that the lazy brunette was the mastermind behind it. The others had their strong points but Shikamaru was the one to pull them all together enough to execute his plans.

The boy had been mostly reclusive today which wasn't odd but it also wasn't a good sign. Nothing too terrible was happening at the moment but the nagging feeling in the back of her mind couldn't be shaken. She watched in dismay as the other occupants in the room eagerly ate their lunch while she pushed her own box of food away. There was a flash of movement on the second screen as the camera focused in on Ino and Naruto leaving one of the stairwells dedicated for the maintenance staff and finally making their way towards the cafeteria.

"Ugh! My skirt's all wet!" Ino whined as she twisted the edge of her navy blue skirt. Naruto looked at her curiously and grabbed a corner of the skirt.

"It doesn't feel too bad to me." He said as he rubbed the material between his fingers, unknowingly almost showing off Ino's underwear to the other students in the hall.

"Naruto!" Ino hissed as she snatched her skirt from his grip. "You can't just go around grabbing a girl's skirts in public like that!"

Naruto at least had the decency to scratched the back of his head sheepishly at her admonishment. Back in the office, his parents sank slightly in their seats. Perhaps they _had_ dropped him on his head one too many times as a baby. He always bounced back quickly, sometimes he wouldn't even cry, so they never thought anything of it. Minato glanced depressingly at the grades in his son's record and gulped. They hadn't witnessed it yet but he was positive that Naruto was good at...other things. They just hadn't seen it yet.

Once the two blondes were inside of the cafeteria, they made a beeline to where most of their friends were already seated. Ino slid into an empty seat next to Sakura while Naruto preferred to sit on the edge of the empty table. Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the fact that the table didn't have any food on it. Shikamaru missing, food missing...all of it appeared very suspicious. It was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped. At least Kiba had managed to find Akamaru in the hall and the puppy was now happily being fed treats inside of the boy's bookbag. Sitting between Kiba and Sasuke, Hinata had her book only a few inches away from her nose and a fist clenched tightly on the edge of the table.

"So Sasuke." Karin's muffled voice sounded through the mics of the Uchiha's clothing. She pressed herself up against his back and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I took a peek at Orochimaru's partner sheets for today. Looks like it's just you and me again."

Sasuke rolled his eyes but didn't respond much further to Karin's flirtation. He was too focused on whatever was on his phone to care about what came out of the redhead's mouth.

"I think this project is going to be a hard one though. You know how Orochimaru is. He always assigns extra work to do at home. Wanna come over to work on it at my place after school?" She cooed, pressing herself closer.

"Sasuke." Hinata said stiffly without looking away from her book. "I didn't realize you were busy this afternoon."

"Hn." He grunted as he rolled his shoulders to get Karin off of his back. "I'm not."

"Good." The Hyuuga sniffed and flipped to the next page.

Karin Uzumaki ground her teeth together as the two blatantly ignored her existence. With a huff, she snatched Hinata's book from her hand and flipped through the pages carelessly. She snorted as she scanned the cover of the book before tossing it back onto the table.

"Trashy romance novels?" Karin smirked as she relished the shocked look on Hinata's face. "What would daddy dearest say if he knew you liked to read this kind of garbage?"

"Karin, you should leave. No one invited you here to this table." Ino spoke up and the other side conversations at the table went silent.

"I'm Sasuke's partner today for class. I can come over here to talk about assignments, can't I? Besides, the last I checked, this was a free country. I can go wherever I want and talk to whoever I want."

The snarky teen reached out to touch Sasuke's shoulder but was surprised when a small pale hand caught her wrist. She glared down at the pale-eyed Hyuuga who returned her gaze with narrowed eyes of her own.

"Please refrain from touching my boyfriend." She said as Karin yanked her wrist away.

"Boyfriend?" She laughed. "Ha! You're nothing but a plaything little Hyuuga. You only have two options. Either Sasuke is going to become bored with your plain jane ways or daddy is going to step in. Maybe I'll let him know what his precious daughter does at school and speed things along-"

"Karin-" Sasuke started to interrupt the girl's rant but Hinata was already on her feet.

"You do this same song and dance every day and I'm sick of it." The Hyuuga hissed and Karin rolled her eyes.

"Oh, you're sick of it? Poor little Hyuuga, sick of someone being honest for once. Well newsflash, Sasuke doesn't belong to you. You're not his girlfriend, not really. You're not even official. He just keeps you in a closet when he wants to play-"

 _Smack_

The sound reverberated around their small group although in the office it was very striking. Hinata's nostril's flared as she lowered her hand. Karin's eyes were wide as she clutched her rapidly reddening cheek with her hand.

"You little bitch." She gasped. Her expression was one of utter disbelief that Hinata actually had the gall to strike her. "How dare you!"

In the next second, all that could be seen was a blur of motion before Karin launched herself at Hinata. The momentum from her flinging her body at the Hyuuga caused both of them to fall to the ground in a heap of limps. Quickly a crowd began to gather around the two girls fighting. Back in the office, Hiashi immediately sprang to his feet as he watched the fight unfold. Karin's fingers were tangled in Hinata's long hair as she tried to pull on the locks with all her might. Unfortunately, Hinata was unbothered by such a weak move and wrapped her legs around Karin's waist and flipped them over so that she was now on top. Inwardly Hiashi cheered his daughter on as she pulled back her fist and punched the other girl in the face. He knew as a responsible adult he shouldn't condone his daughter fighting over a boy but her punch was perfect. He couldn't help but feel proud.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"Aren't you going to stop this? Hinata could get hurt." Naruto asked worriedly as Hinata had her opponent in a headlock.

"No." Sasuke replied with a shake of his head and proud look in his eyes. "Hinata is more than capable of handling herself."

"You're such a bastard." Naruto grumbled but even his worry was starting to shift from Hinata to Karin who clearly wasn't expecting the wallflower to be such a spitfire.

"Wow, this is kinda hot!" A random male student just behind Sasuke said and the Uchiha clenched his fists.

"Yea!" Another guy agreed. "I wonder if they'll start ripping clothes off?"

"I hope so! I heard the Hyuuga has nice tits!"

That last comment was a bridge too far for the short-tempered raven who then turned quickly on his heel and grabbed the fellow student by his red tie. Naruto was barely able to drag Sasuke away by the back of his collar before he punched the teen in the jaw. The Uchiha smacked Naruto's hand away and pushed his way through the crowd that was quickly closing in on the fight between Hinata and Karin. He scooped the Hyuuga off of Karin and tossed her over his shoulder. Angrily she punched at his back but he refused to put her down, instead making a beeline out of the cafeteria. The shouts of displeasure of the male population were cacophonous at the fact that such a rare spectacle was being interrupted. Karin also didn't seem to know when to call it quits and was struggling to get back up on her feet so that she could pursue Sasuke and Hinata.

"Dammit." Naruto cursed and climbed up on top of a nearby table.

The blonde grabbed the nearest thing he could on his way up which just happened to be an opened cup of chocolate pudding and held it high above his head.

"Food fight!" He yelled and flung the pudding cup without much care at some poor unfortunate soul.

His declaration had the effect he was looking for and the cafeteria immediately descended into chaos, giving Sasuke the cover he needed to escape.

The second screen in the office came to life to show Sasuke finally setting an angry Hinata back onto her feet. The small girl frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, avoiding the Uchiha's dark gaze. Sasuke ignored her petulance in favor of grabbing her chin and inspecting her face for any cuts or bruises. He turned her face this way and that, carefully searching for any blemishes to her normally perfect skin. Hinata smacked his hand away and took a step back.

"You shouldn't get into fights." he said flatly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"You shouldn't let Karin hang all over you." Hinata frowned as she stared obstinately at her shoes.

"She's been like that since freshman year Hinata. You and I both know that no matter what I say or do she still clings onto me. There is no reasoning with Karin."

"I don't like it when she touches you." Hinata pouted and Sasuke poked her in the middle of her forehead.

"I don't like it when other guys are trying to check you out." He replied as she rubbed her forehead and glared at him. "They should know you're mine by now."

"Sasuke, we can't-"

"I don't care anymore." He said in a low voice as he pressed her up against the lockers. "They won't be able to keep you away from me."

With that, he kept any other potential arguments from emerging from her lips by kissing her senseless. Back in the cafeteria, it was as if the catfight between Hinata and Karen had never happened. The attention span of their fellow students could only last for so long as they were now fully absorbed in flinging everything on their trays at each other.

Naruto added to the pandemonium, tossing a handful of salad here and an open milk carton there. Ino grabbed his arm as she held a red cafeteria tray over her head as a makeshift shield. On her other side was Sakura lobbing an apple back into the crowd that had just rolled to her feet. In one of her arms, she held a wriggling Akamaru who had managed to escape from Kiba's bag _again_.

"Well, that's one way to end a fight." Ino shouted over the screams and squeals around them.

"Let's just get out of here!" Sakura shouted as she narrowly dodged a macaroni and cheese missile.

Akamaru barked his tacit agreement at Sakura's statement, this was just too much excitement for him. Kiba managed to squeeze through the crowd as well and the small dog happily jumped back into his master's arms. The cameras followed the quartet out of the cafeteria and towards the path that Sasuke and Hinata had already taken. The screen in the office quickly changed to the almost empty hallway where Sasuke and Hinata were unabashedly making out against the lockers. Ino snickered as the color drained from Sakura's face but placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

"I heard there's a cute transfer student from Suna in the other class. He's got the whole 'bad boy' thing going on too." the blonde said but Sakura just shrugged her hand off and walked ahead.

Naruto followed behind her but pulled on Sasuke collar to get him off of Hinata. The girl in question blinked and then quickly turned as red as a tomato as she realized that they now had company. She hid her face in Sasuke's chest, suddenly reverting back to the shy Hyuuga they all knew her to be.

"C'mon, Shikamaru's waiting." Naruto huffed before running up ahead to catch up to Sakura.

She shrieked in surprise when he flung her over his shoulder and tried in vain for him to put her down.

"You're going the wrong way." Naruto laughed as he headed towards the door to the maintenance-only staircase.

"I'm not in the mood to go anymore!" Sakura shouted but her protests fell on deaf ears. Ino pulled out a ring of keys from her skirt pocket.

"Don't such a party pooper Sakura. You couldn't stop talking about this last night. Don't tell me you've suddenly changed your mind." Ino grinned and led the way up the staircase.

Back in the office Tsunade groaned and laid her weary head on the conference room table. The camera still focused on the cafeteria showed that pandemonium still reigned supreme and regular teenagers had transformed into wild animals. Teachers were flooding into the area to try to quell the madness but to no avail. Any attempts to try to stop students from flinging food was met with an unidentifiable mass of goo to the face. Things would only end when the kids ran out of shit to throw at each other but by that point it would be too late.

'Naruto!' She growled in her mind.

Not only was the cafeteria going to be a wreck, they had lost sight of the children since the maintenance staff stairwell didn't contain any cameras. All they had was sound from the children's clothing but that wasn't telling them much. All they could hear was obnoxious heavy breathing as they climbed up the stairwell. The dean had a sneaky suspicion that they were heading towards the roof since Ino had the master ring of keys. How the girl had managed to swindle the janitor into letting his guard down Tsunade would never know. The only thing she did know was that she had several sets of angry eyes boring into her skull and Shizune slowly creeping away from the guarding the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**CCNote:** **Hey y'all! Here with another update. I'm feeling very frustrated with this fandom and others because I'm trying to find good stories to read but I'm coming up empty. Anything good I've either a) already read or b) has been abandoned by authors which I myself have been guilty of doing. I tried getting into some NaruSaku fics but really good stuff is few and far between. IDK I'm picky. If anyone has story suggestions for me to read, whether they are your own or ones you admire, send them my way!**

 **Anywho, this chapter is short but it's necessary for the pivot. Don't forget to leave a review! Enjoy!**

 **Water, Water, Everywhere!**

"Enough!" Shikaku shouted over the mad dash of concerned parents attempting to claw their way to the conference room door.

Everyone turned to stare at the usually even-keeled man as he finally sat up straight in his chair. Shikaku didn't like being locked in this room as much as the next person but they had to figure out what their children were up to. Yelling insults were not conducive to doing that.

"We might not have any visual on them but they are still mic'd." He growled as Hiashi and Fugaku glared daggers at him. "Sit down. Shut up. I'm sure we will figure out what they're up to soon but we can't do that with you screaming at each other."

"How dare-" Fugaku and Hiashi started to snap back simultaneously but realized that they were about to say the same thing. Petulantly, they crossed their arms over their chests and looked away from each other.

There was a loud banging sound of a heavy metal door slamming against a wall and the sound of their children breathing heavily subsided. Tsunade and Shizune, who had been ignoring the parents' fruitless squabble up to this point, were furiously trying to sync up the conference room laptop to find a security camera that might give them a visual of the children. Unfortunately, there were no buildings on Konoha's sprawling campus that were high enough to catch the top of whatever building they were on...

"Where's that lazy bum?" Naruto huffed. "Lunch is going to be over soon."

"I bet he's getting his dick sucked by that upperclassman girl again." Kiba snickered accompanied by Akamaru's high pitched yapping.

"Ha, ha." Came the apathetic droll of Shikamaru. "You are just frustrated because your girlfriend is a hand."

"What does that mean-"

"Guys!" Ino hissed. "Shut the fuck up. Lunch will be over soon so we don't have much time. Shika, go."

There was some minor grumbling but eventually, Shikamaru cleared his throat to explain whatever plot he had cooked up for them that afternoon. Tsunade frowned. They couldn't really hear what the teens were saying since their voices were so low and the sound of rustling cloth was interfering with their mics. Soon there was no audio at all which meant that they had shed their school uniforms in favor of civilian clothing. No wonder Nara had been so quiet all day. _He knew_.

A sense of paranoia crept up her spine. Was her office bugged? Had he hacked into her email or listened in on her phone calls to the other parents? Somehow the other students hadn't figured out anything but Shikamaru knew. Why he hadn't informed his friends, she didn't quite understand but she was sure he had his reasons. The bum was too smart for his own good.

'Dammit.' Tsunade mentally cursed.

She looked to Shizune who only shook her head in defeat, she'd tried to get into all of the outdoor security cameras but each one came up empty. This wasn't good. It was likely they were planning to ditch...again. Their ditching efforts were always the worst because in order to take attention off their disappearance they staged a bigger distraction to occupy the staff. It was never until they got the school back into some semblance of order that anyone noticed that they were missing. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in Tsunade's head. If they were on a building too tall for the other buildings to see the top of that meant...

"They're in here!" Tsunade laughed manically as she slammed her fist down hard on the conference room table.

The other parents looked at her with varying degrees of confusion, surely she appeared to have lost her mind. Perhaps she had. This was her chance to finally catch those little shits in the act. Shikamaru might have caught on but she was onto his game. _She_ was the dean of this school and she would regain her control. She would not be outsmarted again by a bunch of spoiled delinquents. Shizune squeaked as the dean almost closed the laptop on her fingers and snatched the electronic device away.

"They're here!" The blonde mumbled emphatically under her breath as she scurried out of the conference room. "They're here!"

"Lady Tsunade!" Shizune called worriedly, following her boss out into the main office.

"I thought she said we can't leave?" Kushina grumbled as she milled out of the conference room with the rest of the parents. Tsunade glared at her, dropping her laptop on her desk and placing her hands on her hips.

"That was before I knew what they were planning." Tsunade quipped but her response still seemed lost on the parents. "They're ditching. When they ditch they always throw this school into chaos but not this time. This time I can actually catch them."

"We don't even know where they are though." Tsume said causing Tsunade to shake her head at how thick the woman was.

"I already told you, _they're here._ " She replied, shrugging out of her black blazer and tossing it onto her chair.

Shikaku's furrowed brow eased as he caught onto what Tsunade was trying to say. The tallest building on their campus was the main one. That was why they couldn't get a visual on them, none of the other outside cameras could see the roof of this building. Shikaku wasn't quite sure what to think of his son's cunning, clearly, it was going to waste in that lazy head of his. Why couldn't he do more productive things like his homework? His wife was going to murder him when he told her what Shikamaru had gotten himself into.

Tsunade opened the top drawer of her desk and pulled out the bottle of liquor that had been teasing her all morning. Much to the abject horror of her guests, she downed half of the bottle of burning brown liquid before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She slammed the bottle down on her desk and grabbed her cell phone.

"Everyone has my number saved right?" She said hurriedly as she started hustling towards her office door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hiashi asked. "You haven't explained anything?"

"I'm going to stop your damn brats before they ruin yet another school day."

Hiashi stared at her, mouth gaping open like a fish. He was used to the Uchiha's rudeness but Tsunade's was unexpected. The blonde woman couldn't give less of a fuck about how the man felt about her statement. She only had a small window of time to catch the students before they caused any disruptions or damage. With that in mind, she yanked opened the door to her office with confidence that this was her chance. Absently she noticed how oddly the door felt as she pulled on it to open. She didn't have much time to contemplate the oddity before cold liquid fell onto her head and she screamed at the sensation.

"Naruto!" She yelled loud enough that the pictures of previous founders rattled inside of their frames.

"Well, that answers what all of that rushing water was for." Minato mused and Kushina nodded her head, both parents slightly impressed at the trap Naruto and Ino had set.

Even though the dean was soaked from head to toe, Minato couldn't help but feel relieved. He knew his son's talents laid elsewhere!

 _ **To be continued...**_


	6. Chapter 6

**CCNote : Thanks so much for all of your story suggestions! I wrote them all down in a little notebook and I'll start working my way through them. Y'all are the best!**

 **Since I just had my last (fingers crossed) Halloween lesson yesterday afternoon I now have more time to write. I was going to head to Tokyo today to get in on some of the big Halloween parties there but then I looked at my wallet and remembered I'd like to eat more than konbini meals til next payday. So that means I'll be home bumming it all weekend. I might either A) Finish this story B) Start revising one of my stories I've abandoned C) Write the first official chapter for A is for Uchiha or D) Binge watch old episodes of the Real Housewives of Atlanta (this option is most appealing lol)**

 **This chapter will be told mostly from the children's perspective which was super fun to write. Thanks so much for all of the reviews and support on this fic. Literally wrote this because of you guys! Remember its crack, don't take it seriously. Also, don't forget to leave a review! Enjoy!**

 **Interceptions**

"Almost there!" Ino said as she stretched her body as far as she could to reach her prize. "Whoa-Naruto stay still!"

"I'm trying but you keep moving!" He grumbled.

"Well, I have to move if we are going to put this back just suck it up!"

"Hurry up then!"

Ino blew her bangs out of her face with a frustrated huff of air. It wasn't her fault that the spare set of master keys were kept up so high. She had to be careful and place them back in their dusty box in just the right way so that it didn't look disturbed. If any of her fingerprints were left on the dust the custodian would surely know what she'd done. The last time she was here there had been a ladder but now it was gone, likely to aid in the scrapping off of food from the cafeteria ceiling. The only way to get the keys back was to climb on Naruto shoulders and pray that they didn't mess anything up. Carefully, ever so slowly, she opened the spare key box and placed the ring back inside of it's home. Satisfied nothing looked out of place, she clapped her hands together and grinned.

"Okay, you can put me down now!" She said but Naruto shifted uncomfortably under her.

"Actually...I can't." He replied sheepishly. Ino crossed her arms over her chest indignantly. One minute he wanted her to hurry up, the next he wouldn't put her down.

"You don't have much of a choice. We gotta get out of here or there will be a problem."

"We already have a problem."

"Naruto-"

"JUST- just stop talking and _stop moving Ino!_ " He said through clenched teeth and she stopped fidgeting on his shoulders.

For a moment there was nothing but the sound of their own breathing, although Naruto's was much heavier than hers. She wasn't one to take orders well but the sound of Naruto's voice had dropped a bit. He never commanded anyone to do anything but that statement coupled with the tenor of his voice intrigued her. So she did as he said and did her best not to move.

"Why did you change into shorts?" He asked huskily and an unfamiliar feeling of warmth pooled in her lower belly.

"Huh?" She asked, perplexed as to why that would even be a problem.

The weather hadn't quite switched over to fall and shorts felt like the perfect thing to change into after being trapped in her stuffy school uniform. Plus they were her favorite shade of purple, why wouldn't she wear them? Sure they were made of a flimsy cotton material but they were supposed to be going to the beach so it didn't really matter what she was wearing right now anyway.

"Don't talk." Naruto said again although this time it seemed like he was begging. "When you talk you move against me. Just stop."

"What-" she started, absolutely perplexed. Naruto never had a problem with her being close to him before. Then it clicked and her entire face turned a shade of red that would give even Hinata a run for her money. "Oh my god are you serious right now?!"

"Ino-"

"This is so not the time for that!" She huffed and squirmed so much that made Naruto lose his balance and they toppled over.

They landed in a heap of limbs onto the hard tile floor although Naruto caught the brunt of the impact. Ino winced as she tried to lift herself up off of his body but came face to face with what was giving her companion so much trouble. He was only wearing a loose pair of orange basketball shorts, his manhood still standing proudly beneath them despite their fall. Somehow the sight of it, even clothed, made her face turn even redder. Underneath her, Naruto squirmed and tried to lift himself up on his forearms.

"I can't help it!" He groaned. "It just happens."

"So you just so happened to become hard?" She asked bluntly, swallowing some of her saliva as his erection twitched before her eyes. She hadn't expected him to be so...big. "That seems...inconvenient."

"W-w-well yes b-but-"

"I thought you were into Sakura." Ino teased. "She wouldn't like it if she saw you like this."

Ino smirked as she felt Naruto physically shudder at the prospect of Sakura catching them in such a position but it did nothing to soften his erection. She couldn't help but want to tease the blond further. Naruto was cute when he was flustered. Tentatively she ran a finger up and down the tent in his pants making the teen suck in a sharp breath and his hips to buck involuntarily upward. Ino's smirk widened into a smile. Who would have guessed Naruto Uzumaki would be so sensitive? Feeling a bit embolden since she had the upper hand she wrapped her hand around his shaft as best as she could, wondering all the while what it would feel like without his pants in the way.

"Ino-" Naruto gasped. "Wait. I don't-"

"Fine." She pouted but let him go.

She straightened herself up so that she was sitting properly although she was still straddling his waist. She wasn't going to push things further but somehow his rejection still hurt her pride. If she was Sakura he would not have had any qualms about the current situation. With a sigh, she moved to stand up but a pair of warm hands gripped her hips and pulled her back down. She could feel his chest up against her back as his fingers tightened their hold.

"I told you not to move." He growled and ground himself up against her. One of his hands moved from her hip to under her simple shirt, rough fingers snaking their way across her stomach.

"N-Naruto!"

Ino blushed, now it was her turn to feel embarrassed by being teased. His lips brushed against the back of her neck, grazing the slope of her shoulders. She and Naruto had never had an issue touching each other before, in fact, most of their playful butt slapping and grabbing was platonic. _This_ though...this was different. This was not for kicks and giggles. It was playing at an underlying tone that was the subtext for all of their encounters. She never thought much about it since it was beyond obvious that he was in love with her best friend, even though said friend never gave him the time of day. It was enough to be his friend than nothing at all. So she teased him and pushed him but even she had to admit she might have taken this too far. She moaned as his fingers snaked their way under her bikini top. Why did it feel like his fingers were on fire?

"You shouldn't wear shorts like this." He whispered, rotating his hips slightly against her.

His tongue experimentally tasted her skin and upon deciding that he like it, he bit down. Ino couldn't help but whimper as it caused a shot of heat to surge through her. He licked and sucked at the area, neither one of them caring that he was likely leaving a mark. The sensation was just too good. However like all good things it wasn't meant to last for the door to the custodian's office flew open violently and an incredibly angry redhead burst into the room. One hand was gripping the door frame while the other held her cell phone which was buzzing incessantly.

"Naruto Uzumaki you've got a lot of explaining to do dammit!" Kushina yelled before turning back into the hall. "Minato I found Naruto!"

"Mom what are you doing here?" Asked as he detached himself from Ino and hurriedly helped her to her feet.

"What am I doing here?" Kushina reiterated incredulously. " _What are you doing here?_ You're supposed to be in class right now! We pay all this money for you to go to this fancy-schmancy school and you're here getting handsy in the custodian's office! We raised you better than this! Also, have you seen your grades? They're abysmal! They're-"

"Is Ino in there?" Came a deep voice from the hall, interrupting Kushina's tirade.

"Daddy?" Ino gasped and Naruto turned to her confused.

"Daddy?"

Sure enough, Inoichi's broad frame popped up beside Kushina, just as angry, just as incredulous. His pale blue eyes narrowed as he took in his daughter's disheveled state. The air in the room grew heavy as the man took a few steps closer, his murderous intent rolling off of him in waves.

"Is that a... _hickey_?" he hissed and Ino's hands immediately flew to spot where Naruto's lips had just been.

"No!" She protested weakly but of course, the proof was on display for everyone to see.

Suddenly the silence was broken by the heavy panting of Naruto's father, Minato. He rested his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath before looking up at the room's occupants. His hopeful eyes innocent to what he'd just walked in on. Curiously he looked between his angry wife and Ino's irate father. His own son looked more perplexed than anything while Ino was slowly edging herself behind him. Scratching the back of his head, Minato let out a nervous chuckle in an attempt to cut the tension.

"So...what did I miss?"

 **….**

Sakura sighed as she watched the retreating backs of Sasuke and Hinata. Why did they have to look so perfect together? Even their footsteps were in step. It was unbelievably frustrating watching how Sasuke would hover around Hinata. Always maintaining a distance that was far enough that the girl wouldn't faint but close enough to satisfy his own clear need for contact. Why couldn't he be like that with her? She knew him better. Loved him longer. Her only hope was that somehow the two would tire of each other but with each passing day, that hope grew fainter.

"Sakura!" A loud voice shouted and the pink haired girl blinked. Big brown eyes bored into her own, confusing her as to why they were so close. With a growl, she pushed Kiba's face away from her own and turned on her heel to make her way towards their task. Kiba was unfazed by her roughness and merely trailed behind her down the hall.

"You were pretty out of it for a minute there." He observed as he petted Akamaru. "I called your name at least five times."

Sakura sniffed as she turned the corner, ignoring Kiba's question. They just had to get to the main fire alarm and pull the lever. _Just pull the lever..._ It was such a simple mantra. One that if she kept repeating it long enough it might even take her mind off of her woes. If she just focused on pulling the lever she wouldn't have to worry about how Sasuke would stare at Hinata when he saw her in her swimsuit or how Hinata would blush when she caught him looking. If she just focused on pulling the lever she might even be able to forget-

"Sakura!" Kiba shout again causing the girl whirl around and open her mouth to yell at him.

"What Kiba!"

The brunette only blinked, unfazed by her yelling at him. Yelling was his only volume after all. He jerked his thumb in the opposite direction and cocked his head slightly to the side.

"The main alarm is that way." He said.

Sakura stood there gaping. In disbelief she checked the map on her phone before looking down the hall she was headed and then the direction Kiba was pointing. _Dammit_. He was right. With a huff and a slight adjustment to her bookbag, she brushed past him and started heading back in the right direction.

"Ya know..." He began to say and Sakura rolled her eyes. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you're upset."

"I'm not upset." She snipped and sped up her footsteps. Kiba's long legs had no problem matching her pace.

"You are walking like an upset person."

Once more Sakura rolled her eyes and turned the corner. Kiba grinned as he adjusted Akamaru in his arms.

"You're also talking like an upset person."

"I didn't even _say anything."_

 _"_ Exactly." He said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Is it a bad grade?'

Sakura frowned and glanced back down at her phone. She'd taken another wrong turn. She only had so much time before they got caught by a teacher patrolling the hall at some point.

"Did you eat something funny during lunch. If you take a shit you'll feel better."

"Shut up Kiba!" Sakura yelled before covering her mouth with both hands. Silently she prayed that no one heard her besides the annoying male in question. When no one opened their doors she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm upset okay. Are you happy now?"

She scampered off back down the hall, eyes glued to her phone and determined not to take another wrong turn. The main alarm had to be around here somewhere.

"Why?"

Sakura ignored him once more in favor of taking one last turn. She spotted the bright red casing that held the alarm and a jolt of adrenaline ran through her veins. The sooner she pulled the lever the sooner she could get the hell away from Kiba and his annoying questions. Unfortunately, Kiba was determined to be even more of a pain in the ass than usual and blocked her way.

"Move Kiba! We gotta get going." She hissed as she tried to skirt around him but the teen was just too fast.

"Not until you tell me why you're upset." He said and she placed her hands on her hips.

"Why do you care so much if I'm upset?"

"Because Hinata is like my little sister and you keep glaring at her whenever she walks into the room. I may not be top of the class but I can tell that you're upset about something and it has to do with Hinata." He replied simply causing Sakura's face to flush. Was she really being that obvious? "You guys are supposed to be friends right? Act like it."

"It's complicated." She sighed but Kiba still wouldn't move out of the way. "You wouldn't understand."

Kiba only stared at her blankly, a unmovable obstacle in the middle of the hallway. Even Akamaru was looking at her curiously. Defeated, her shoulders slumped and she rubbed her right hand against her left arm.

"She...has Sasuke." She said finally, the burning sensation of unshed tears coming to the surface.

"So?"

Sakura's eyes narrowed. How could he just say 'so'? Sasuke was her _everything_. She'd liked him for so long. How many hours had she spent fantasizing about their life together? She'd written the name Uchiha next to her own countless times and it looked absolutely perfect! He was supposed to be her first boyfriend, her first kiss. He was supposed to be her first everything so why was Hinata the one he wanted instead?

"Is that what you're upset about?" Kiba chuckled and her face turned red with the realization that she'd spoken her thoughts aloud without realizing it. He took a step closer, an impish grin on his lips. " I don't know how important having a 'boyfriend' is but first kisses are not all they're cracked up to be."

Sakura's eyes widened as Kiba's face came closer to hers and his lips brushed lightly against her own. Barely even a peck.

"First kiss." He said before lifting Akamaru to her frozen face. The small dog eagerly stuck out his tiny pink tongue and licked her wherever he could reach. "Second kiss. See no big deal."

"Gross!" Sakura groaned as she wiped her face from all of the puppy slobber.

She finally pushed past Kiba and angrily pulled down on the fire alarm lever. Immediately the sound of screeching bells went off and lights started flashing. Simultaneously, Kiba and Sakura pulled on their plastic ponchos from their backpacks and scurried down the hall. Brown liquid squirted from the sprinklers in the ceiling, coating the pristine white walls. It was all Choji's idea to replace all of the water with diluted chocolate milk. He had claimed that water was just too boring. It was flowing much too powerfully from the sprinklers as well which could only mean that Shikamaru had been a little too good at his job.

"I'll have you know that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's!" The male shouted over the alarms.

"That doesn't make sense!" She shouted back. How dumb was this guy?

She could hear the sounds of feet racing above her and her heart sank in her chest. They had to get out now! She grabbed Kiba's wrist and dragged him through the hall in search of the nearest exit. She didn't get far though before she ran into the dean and her assistant drenched in chocolate milk. Her mother and father weren't too far behind the two women either and they were equally coated.

 **….**

"I wonder what's taking everyone so long." Hinata mused aloud as she followed Sasuke through the rows and rows of dusty books haphazardly arranged on their shelves. Some were even stacked in towers on the floor, a lawsuit just waiting to happen.

The café they were currently in was a favorite of the those that attended Konoha High. It was only two blocks away from the school and its prices were all fairly reasonable for a young clientele to afford. The café had a desperate hipster vibe to it with its overstuffed mismatched chairs that were crowded around distressed tables. The entire menu was much too long to ever remember and it constantly changed much to the chagrin of its patrons. It was never long before your favorite drink was replaced with some new concoction.

With a sigh, Hinata glanced at her watch. The others should have arrived by now. They had seemed so excited in the group chat last night to go to the beach. Why were they hesitating now? She and Sasuke had set up their bikes in the agreed upon hiding places so it wasn't like they'd have difficulty finding them. What was deterring them? She was so deep in thought that she hadn't realized that Sasuke had stopped walking and bumped right into his chest. She attempted to mumble out an apology but it the words didn't make it past her lips.

Sasuke looked down at her, his dark eyes drinking in her every feature as though he were trying to commit her face to memory. Despite the intensity of his gaze, she couldn't shrink away. All thought of the others flew from her mind as she lost herself looking up at him. His pale hand came up and caressed her cheek. Although his touch was gentle his eyes remained hard.

"I meant what I said Hyuuga." He said in a low voice. "I don't care anymore."

 **…..**

Hiashi frowned as Mikoto Uchiha jostled up beside him to look through their makeshift peephole in the bookshelves. Sasuke and Hinata remained oblivious to their presence even though there was only a meager bookshelf separating them. Sasuke's hand came up and caressed his daughter's cheek causing Hiashi to desire nothing more than to break all of the Uchiha's fingers. While the thought was satisfying, to say the least, he was forbidden from even breathing too loudly all due to a certain sadistic woman.

He glared at the dark haired woman in question as she stared intently at the scene before them involving her delinquent son. If he had things his way he would have dragged Hinata out of the coffee shop as soon as they'd entered. However, Mikoto had threatened to castrate him if he dared to say anything. She'd also regulated her own husband to keeping the car idle in the small parking lot despite his ardent protest. Hiashi had never seen Fugaku cower before another person before but the odd sadistic smile on his wife's face had made the stubborn Uchiha do exactly as she said. When she turned that broad smile in his direction,

Hiashi couldn't help but feel sorry for his rival. If his wife were still alive she would treat him much better than Mikoto treated Fugaku. Even though Mikoto had threatened him into silence, that still didn't curb the instinctive urge he felt to choke the living daylights out of her arrogant son. How dare that boy be so close to his daughter! He couldn't see what they were doing. Ther little hole in the books only allowed them to see part of their torsos and arms and while they were doing anything inappropriate, Hiashi didn't like their proximity.

"Like I said before, I don't care anymore."

"Sasuke-" his daughter began, fidgeting nervously with her fingers. "It's difficult for me too but I don't think they're ready."

"When will they be then? The day we give them grandchildren?"

Hinata only squeaked in response and Hiashi's blood pressure spiked. No, no this wasn't happening! Not his little girl! The little girl that only just yesterday could barely grip his finger. The little girl he taught to walk and swim. No, she couldn't be having children. No yet. She was so young, her entire life ahead of her. A light hand on his shoulder broke him from his thoughts and he turned to look at the owner. Mikoto was still smiling that threatening smile, her head cocked slightly to the side.

"You know how my father is." Hinata said causing her eavesdropping father to bristle. "Neji is even worse."

"Hn."

"Your family won't like me. I'm a Hyuuga."

"Hn."

"Sasuke-"

The boy's hand reached out and grabbed his daughters. He pulled her close and whispered something that only Hinata could hear. Hinata took a step away from him and played with her fingers even more. After a long pause, she finally spoke.

"You...you'd really do that?"

Sasuke said nothing in response but that seemed good enough for Hinata as she closed the distance between them. They couldn't see much from this vantage point but the sound of kissing was undeniable. That was it. He had seen and _heard_ more than enough at this point. Clearly, he'd failed as a father that his daughter would seek companionship with someone from the loathsome Uchiha clan. Not only that he'd somehow managed to knock her up. This was unacceptable. The Hyuuga moved to stand from his crouching position, his muscles protesting from being in such a position for so long. Hiashi ignored the pain. He may be older but that didn't mean he couldn't take down a horny little punk.

"Where are you going?" Mikoto hissed, rising to her feet much more gracefully than he had.

"To put a stop to this nonsense." He quipped and moved down the aisle.

"No! You promised to stay quiet-"

"I promised nothing woman-" he replied but was silenced by Mikoto's hand covering his mouth.

"Stop being so stubborn. They look so happy. We should give them a chance to tell us themselves."

Hiashi glared at her. This woman was crazy if she thought he would just let something like this slide. He tried to move away from her but that only resulted in him tripping backward over a wayward pile of books and bringing the Uchiha woman down with him. There was a loud crash and their bodies knocked against the bookshelves and sent some of their more precarious contents flying to the floor. Hiashi groaned as he tried to unsuccessfully lift himself up from the floor. Unfortunately, Mikoto Uchiha was much heavier than she looked and wouldn't budge from on top of him. Mentally he sighed, he was too old for this shit.

"F-father?" A soft voice called from the end of the aisle. He opened his eyes as the sound of small feet rushed towards him.

He tried to shake Mikoto's shoulders but the woman didn't respond. Soon Hinata and Sasuke were standing over them. Hinata's eyes held concern while Sasuke's looked as though he were about to commit a murder.

"What the hell are you doing with my mother?"

 **To be continued...**


	7. Chapter 7

**CCNote** **: Making Pho on a super rainy day. As anyone who has made Pho from scratch before, you know it takes forever. So while I wait for the broth to get all flavorful and shit I'm just going to bang out this chapter. On a side note, I've been getting lots of PMs about my life here in Japan. (I.E. what do I do? What level do I teach? How do I do something similar?) I'm not really active on Tumblr or Instagram but I am always on Snapchat. If you're interested in adding me on Snap just say so in the Reviews and I'll message you my id. My Snapchat is like a vlog for me and helps me keep in touch with my family and friends back home. Mostly it's cooking, traveling, and my life at my rather odd school. If you're curious about my life here, it's a fun way to see what I'm up to.**

 **Anywho! This is unbeta'd. I'll go back and make glaring corrections soon. As always, this is crack. Don't take it seriously! Don't forget to leave a REVIEW! Enjoy!**

 **A Sense of Responsibility**

Hinata sat straight as a rod in her desk. In fact, even her prudish etiquette tutor from her childhood would have been impressed with her perfect posture. If only her tutor had known that the secret to getting her not to slouch was to have her father breathing down her neck. The man whose eyes mirrored her own were glaring daggers into the back of her head. Sometimes those cold eyes slid across the noisy classroom to where the Uchiha family was gathered. Among the dark-eyed family, her father's cold gaze rested upon Sasuke who was at the top of her father's shit list, but for the most part, they stay glued to her.

She couldn't even fault her father for being angry. Skipping school? Yea that was bad but skipping school with the son of his rival was even worse. The only reason her father was silent at the moment was likely because he wished to salvage some semblance of whatever dignity he had left. The Hyuuga girl dared to take a small shaky breath. There was going to be hell to pay when she got home. Would her father even let her out of the house to graduate next year?

To her right, Ino groaned although most of the sound was muffled by her desk. The only person who was likely in bigger trouble than herself was Ino. Hinata felt fortunate that her father hadn't caught her with a hickey on her neck. If so, Sasuke would be dead by now. The poor blonde girl looked as though she wanted to jump out a window when she and Sasuke had entered the room, a bright red mark marring her otherwise perfect skin.

Ino's father was currently engaged in a shouting match with Naruto's mother who was not one to back down to anyone. It was easy to see where Naruto got his fiery personality from but Kushina's anger was not helping the situation. With all of the finger pointing and name calling between the two, it was likely that Inoichi and Kushina would never get along. Hinata looked away from their commotion and bit her bottom lip. Poor Ino. After a few more moments of awkwardly fidgeting with her fingers underneath her desk, the door to the classroom opened again and the last remaining members of their group were roughly carted in by Tsunade.

"What a drag." The brunette mumbled under his breath.

Hinata watched wide-eyed as Shikamaru and Choji lumbered into the room. Out of everyone they should have been the least likely to get caught. The grin on Tsunade's face was huge as she roughly shoved the two boys in empty seats near their respective parents. The woman's blonde hair was sticking to her neck and forehead, streaks of chocolate riveting down from her locks. Her clothing was clinging to her body, accentuating her already voluptuous form. Despite looking like a hot mess, Hinata had never seen the dean appear so...satisfied. The woman turned her attention from the two boys to address the rest of the room.

"So now you see what I'm dealing with." She said with a huff.

Their parents all grumbled their varying degrees of agreement. What was Tsunade even talking about? See what? What were their parents even doing at the school in the first place?

"Your children are irresponsible, disrespectful, and downright delinquent at best. The hallways of the main building are coated in chocolate milk. Half of my staff is currently trying to clean up the disaster in the cafeteria while the other half is ensuring as much of an orderly early dismissal as possible. This kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. Never in all my years have I ever had to deal with something like this!"

Hinata flinched at a bit, guilty at the damage they'd caused. Although she clearly felt remorse for their actions, her other counterparts did not. If anything the morose looks on their faces were due to the fact that they'd actually been caught.

"What do you propose we do Tsunade?" Mikoto snipped, a bag of ice pressed against her throbbing temple. "It's not like you keep that great of an eye on our children and they are with you for most of the day."

"There are clearly some children that are worse than others. Expel the rotten ones and the problem is solved." Hiashi said in a low threatening voice. "Otherwise you will have a lawsuit on your hands."

"Lawsuit?!" Hissed Fugaku. "You're the one who injured my wife! We should be the ones suing you right now!"

"I was an accident." Mikoto defended but her words didn't seem to calm down the two men whose tempers had been stoked since that morning.

Hinata had never seen her father so undone in her life. The usually poised man's clothing was rumpled and his hair was slightly tousled. All of which was due to the fall he and Sasuke's mom had taken in the coffee shop. It was awkward to find them in such a position but somehow she'd been able to keep Sasuke and her father from fighting right there in the middle of the shop. While that might have been a semi-successful deescalation, she didn't have to energy nor the clout to keep her father from fighting Fugaku.

"Sit down!" Tsunade shouted but both men ignored her as they stood from their desks and crossed the room.

"Your son has ruined my daughter's future. I should not only sue the school but you as well. You're lucky I'm only calling for his expulsion!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about but try it Hyuuga. You know you'll lose!"

"He got her pregnant!"

Hinata felt all of the blood rush from her body as she locked eyes with Sasuke across the room. He was no longer slouching in his seat but upright, mouth slightly slack. He looked as confused as she felt. Hinata shook her head furiously. What the hell was her father talking about? Around her, her friends gave her pitying looks and Ino sank further into her chair. Despite their suspicious looks, it wasn't even possible for her to even be pregnant. Why would her dad even think such a thing? Fugaku immediately froze at Hiashi's accusation and turned his ire towards his youngest son.

"Is this true?" He asked, his voice low and threatening. Sasuke only rolled his eyes. "Look at me when I'm talking to you boy!"

"All I know is that he's going to have to take responsibility for this!" Hiashi growled.

"Stop it!"

All eyes turned to the small Hyuuga girl who had jumped out of her seat with her fists clenched tightly at her sides. Hinata could feel her body trembling but she couldn't make it cease. Her heart was beating too frantically, her breathing much too erratically. Her father's pale eyes were narrowing as he turned his attention to her.

"I-I I'm not pregnant." She said, voice barely above a whisper.

"Speak up Hinata, no one can hear you." He father said sternly. Hinata squeezed her eyes shut and gathered up all of her courage.

"I'm not pregnant!" She shouted and the room fell silent. "I'm still a virgin!"

All of the air seemed to escape from her father's lungs. His shoulders slumped and he leaned against the large teacher's desk in the middle of the room. Nervously Hinata opened her eyes and played with her fingers.

"We...we both are." She said, this time her voice was much lower but everyone still heard what she said.

Kiba snickered at the revelation but was quickly silenced by a hard smack to the back of his head from his mother.

"Didn't we see them go into that janitor's closet?" Ms. Haruno spoke up and Sakura groaned.

"Mooooooom!"

"What?" The woman shrugged, peeling a sticky lock of hair from her face. "We all saw it."

Hinata's entire face turned red as she remembered just what had transpired earlier that morning. They hadn't had sex but it was close to it. She wasn't quite ready to go all the way yet but that never stopped Sasuke from indulging in what she was comfortable with doing. The fact that her father might have seen what had happened between her made her want to faint. Hiashi covered his ears and headed back to his seat. He didn't want to hear any more about his daughter's clearly deviant habits. For now, he was satisfied knowing she wasn't caring a demon Uchiha spawn.

"Are you all ready to act like adults or are there going to be more outbursts?" Tsunade asked and the room's occupants shook their head simultaneously. "Good. Let's talk punishment."

At the end of the meeting, it was decided that they would all return early Saturday morning to wash the halls of the main building. After that, they were to assist the grounds crew every Saturday morning until the end of their junior year. Not only that but they were banned from all extracurricular activities. Instead, they were assigned to the local assisted living center and a kindergarten where they would rotate volunteering. Tsunade was determined to teach them a 'sense of responsibility' since it was beyond evident that none of their parents had instilled such a thing.

Their parents signed off on all of the forms Tsunade made them sign agreeing to their new punishments much to the chagrin of their children. When all of that was said and done the final nails in the coffin were their cell phones being confiscated. Sakura was the most reluctant out of all of them to give her phone up, to the point that she looked as though she would cry. Their junior year had barely begun and already it looked to be a wash. As the parents filed out of the conference room with their currently subdued spawn in tow, Tsunade finally let out a sigh of relief. Shizune closed the door to the classroom and slumped her weary weight against it.

"Glad that's over." Tsunade said and Shizune nodded her head.

"You did well today Lady Tsunade." Her assistant assured although the dean didn't take too much comfort in that.

She still had a school that was quickly starting to smell sour and no doubt a phone ringing off the hook in her office. They'd had to send all of the other students home early because of the sprinklers so of course parents that actually paid attention were worried. She didn't look forward to having to field their questions but, hopefully, this would be the last time she'd have to send the student body home early.

The exhausted blonde tried to run a hand through her hair but was immediately disgusted with how sticky it felt. Her upper lip curled as she tried to futily wipe her hand off on her equally sticky blouse. The phone calls would have to wait. First and foremost she needed a shower...and a bottle of single malt whiskey.

 **….**

"You've gotten yourself into a right mess you know that?" Shikaku grumbled and he and his son stood on the sidewalk.

They were about a block away from their house but the elder had stopped the car and got out to have a smoke. His first of the day. Usually, he never smoked so close to the house, his wife hated the way the smell of tobacco clung to his clothing, but he couldn't help it. This day had been a bit too stressful. His son barely acknowledged his statement, merely shrugging his shoulders with the words 'troublesome' written across his forehead. He couldn't really be mad at Shikamaru. When he was that age he used to skip school all the time. His school had been filled with idiots who had no idea what to do with their lives. When he had his son he'd hoped that the delinquency streak he had wouldn't show itself. Unfortunately it had and even though he might have skipped school, he never orchestrated elaborate distractions to shake the staff off his tail. He was much sneakier than that.

"Why did you do it?" Shikaku asked, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

"Because I could." Shikamaru replied blandly as though he were stating the obvious. "That school is boring. It doesn't teach us anything useful."

"It could be useful to the other students but you disrupted their day."

Shikamaru didn't say anything in response. He only turned his dark brown eyes to the ground, kicking stray pieces of gravel that were underfoot. Shikaku sighed. Should he be mad? Yes. Was he? No. Shikamaru was a genius and he had no business attending a school that didn't challenge him enough to keep him out of trouble. However, this was _the best_ school in the country. They could have sent him to much better schools abroad but he and his wife had wished for him to have some semblance of a normal life. When the boy was growing up he mostly kept to himself and was too weird to have friends his own age. He was too smart, knew too many big words to connect to younger minds. At least at this school, he had friends. The elder Nara sighed and took another long drag of his cigarette before patting his son on the head.

"Just don't get caught next time. It's troublesome to come up to your school like that." he said and Shikamaru looked up at him curiously. Shikaku only smirked and dropped the butt of his cigarette on the ground, extinguishing the light with the back of his shoe. "Don't look at me like that. You haven't gotten off easy. I'm sure your mother has created a more than sufficient punishment for you."

"You _told_ her?" the young teen growled, smacking his forehead with the palm of his hand. Shikaku only laughed.

"She's my wife. I'd be crazy not to!" he said and climbed back into the car. "C'mon, the faster you take your beating the faster we can get this over with."

Shikaku smirk grew into a wide smile as his son shoved his hands into his pockets and skulked into the car. For once he looked like an actual teenager and not the lazy old man he always pretended to be.

 **...**

Ino sighed as she rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. They had only been cleaning for a half an hour but already she was breaking a sweat. She absolutely hated being sweaty. Next to her Naruto was furiously trying to scrub a particularly stubborn chocolate stain off the wall.

"Dammit, Choji why did you have to choose chocolate milk?" The blonde male whined and Choji only shrugged.

"I didn't expect us to get caught and it seemed like a good distraction."

"Well, we did. How did they even figure it out anyway?" Kiba huffed as he lugged in a bucket of fresh water.

Ino's eyes narrowed as most of the water sloshed onto the floor. At this godforsaken rate, they were never going to get done. Sakura came up behind Kiba and set her water bucket down next to his although she managed to keep most of her water inside of her bucket.

"I knew I shouldn't have come along with you guys. I said I didn't want to do it anymore."

"Well, now you're in the same boat as us billboard brow. Enjoy it." Ino quipped before dipping her dirty sponge into the new water. "Besides don't you want to spend more time with us?"

"Hell no! Sasuke's not even here."

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke!" The blonde girl teased only to have Sakura throw a wet sponge at the back of her head.

"Where is that bastard anyway? Hinata isn't here either." Naruto mused just as the doors to the main entrance opened.

The missing teens walked into the hallway, unfazed by the mess that was created or the fact that they were late. Ino raised an eyebrow at the fact that the two of them were actually holding hands, something that neither one of them would have dared to do previously. Inwardly she giggled, she was going to have grill Hinata on this new development later. Ino then glanced over at Sakura who was pointedly not looking at the pair. She sighed. Hopefully, her friend would get over her crush on Sasuke sooner rather than later.

"Nice of you to show up Uchiha." Kiba snickered but Sasuke only spared him a blank look. "Grab a sponge and get to cleaning."

"I'm not cleaning this." Sasuke scoffed just as the main doors opened again.

This time a small horde of rather creepy looking men filed into the hallway all clad in black coveralls and purple nail polish. Ino's attention was instantly drawn to a man with blonde hair so long that it even made her jealous. How was he able to maintain that? She took a step forward, she had to question him on his routine! Next to her Naruto let out an indignant huff, drawing her attention away from the older man. Ino looked at him curiously, his cheeks puffed up and his eyes narrowed at the blonde man. She smiled and nudged him in the side. A jealous Naruto was cute too. She blushed as she recalled how cute Naruto looked when he was flustered before they'd been caught by their parents. Teasing Naruto was _almost_ worth being grounded.

"Aw! Wittle Sasuke made a fucking mess." A pale man with silver hair snickered and his companions all joined in on his laughter. Sasuke did not seem to find any humor in the man's statements. Instead, he let go of Hinata to grab a dry sponge and placed it in the laughing man's hand.

"You have until three." He said sternly and grabbed Hinata's hand again. "Let's go."

"Fucking snot-nosed brat thinks he can just boss us around and shit." The silver-haired man growled, squeezing the life out of the inanimate sponge in his hand.

"I think its cute hun!" The blonde haired man cooed. "He wants to spend time with his new girlfriend."

"You think everything is cute dumbass!"

Sasuke ignored the two men's bickering and headed back through the main entrance doors with a thoroughly embarrassed Hinata in tow. Naruto threw his sponge into one of the buckets and stretched.

"If Sasuke's not cleaning, I'm not cleaning." He declared with a mischevious grin in Ino's direction.

Ino didn't have to be told twice. Even though she'd assisted in making the mess she sure as hell didn't want to clean it up. Without a second thought, she tossed her own sponge and followed Naruto out of the school. The others quickly abandoned their posts to the shock of the creepy group of men and rushed out of the school. It didn't take long to catch up with Sasuke and Hinata who had barely made it to the gates of the school. Naruto threw an arm around Sasuke's shoulder and used his other hand to ruffle the Uchiha's hair.

"Sasuke you sly dog!" Naruto laughed. "Who the hell are those guys?"

Sasuke pushed Naruto away and tried vainly to fix his hair with his free hand.

"Who they are isn't important. They owe Itachi a favor." The raven explained.

Ino's eyes grew wide. Those guys knew Itachi? _The Itachi Uchiha_? Well if they were there to take their punishment, Ino wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. She grabbed Naruto's arm and pulled him in the opposite direction before he could question Sasuke any further. They had their own discussion that needed to take place. Namely how to get him off of her father's kill list. Ino turned back to wave at her friends who were also dispersing in opposite directions, no doubt trying to maximize the free time they now had until they had to report back to the school. She sighed as she watched their retreating backs. This was going to be a long year.

 **The End**

 **CCNote: Alright! You've reached the end of this short cracky story. I hope it was as fun for you to read as it was for me to write. Please be sure to leave a review! Thanks so much for all of your support!**


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